Taxes

I finished filing my taxes early this year. Believe it or not, I filed them about a month ago. I enjoy paying taxes. It makes me feel great to know that the money I send the government is never wasted. Here's a good example of my tax dollars at work.

According to a federally funded study, "men create more housework for women." (Click here to read the report.) Now that's a productive statement that doesn't reveal bias of any kind. It's good to have another example of how men are bad and women are good.

I'm glad that the study didn't waste our time by noting how much time men spend building houses, repairing them, fixing the sump pump when it fails, mowing the lawn, trimming tree branches, fixing leaks in the roof, getting rid of pests and bugs, installing new light fixtures, replacing the toilet, cleaning pine needles and leaves from the gutters, shoveling snow, fixing the furnace, installing a new dryer vent, removing long hair from sink and tubs or any of those other pointless chores that really don't contribute to making a house nice to live in.

I think I should send the government an extra five bucks next year to help fund a study that reveals the fact that men directly and purposely cause women to be emotional and unpredictably moody. We already know it's our fault, we just want to know what we're doing to make their lives so bad so we can fix it once and for all.