Should I be paranoid?

Last evening at church, an older gentleman came up to me and told me a joke. He always stands awkwardly and painfully close and speaks right in my face so I'm forced to smell his smoker breath. The joke was this, "Why can't a grizzly walk on gravel?............ Because he has "bare" feet!" Hilarious.

As he was speaking just inches from my face, something flew out of his mouth and somehow I managed to breathe it in. It was strange, like a particle or something. The timing was crazy. I was trying to hold my breath so I didn't have to smell his, but right when I had to breathe, this thing shot out of his mouth and into my nasal passageway. I immediately walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of soda (thinking that if it was alive I might have a chance of drowning it with Coke before it burrowed into my lungs). If I'm still alive this weekend, my remedy worked.

I wish I could end this post at that, but ........

Tonight, after Jr. High Youth Group, I stopped at K-Mart to pick up some tools and painting supplies for tomorrow's work project. I paid with a credit card. A split second before handing me the pen to sign the receipt, the cashier wiped his nose with it.

I know, either way I'm doomed.