Gossip

I won't tell you where I was (so as not to be guilty of what I'm about to express annoyance over), but I spent the early portion of my morning being forced to listen to the most irritating gossip. Two ladies spent the better part of a half hour yapping back and forth about everyone under the sun. At first I was amused because they barely took a breath and the one lady kept saying "uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" in rapid fire succession as the other lady spoke. But after a few minutes, it started giving me a headache.

I know that we're all guilty of gossip from time to time, but I have come to believe that it is the lowest and most brainless form of communication.

"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." Proverbs 20:19

"Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil;..." Romans 1:28-30a

Project, False Prophet

I realize that I already posted once today, but I had a thought that sprung from my previous post. It dawned on me that about a year ago, I received an envelope from "Rev. Peter Popoff" and his "ministry." It was an appeal for money and included a postage paid return envelope which I filled with a bunch of ripped up pieces of paper and returned (at his expense).

For those of you who have never heard of Rev. Peter Popoff here's the deal. His "infomercial" usually comes on late at night. He promises physical healing and financial prosperity to anyone who will send him money. To the mature Christian, his scheme is obvious, but there are many who fall for his trickery because he poses as a pastor and a teacher of God's Word. You can read a little about his scheme here.

Anyway, I'm thinking that it would be a lot of fun to make this guy spend a lot of money on postage while we send him boxes full of our garbage (again, at his expense....see previous post). I just signed up, via his website to receive his mailings. This can be done through his "prayer request" page.

Once I start receiving the mailings, I'm planning on draining his pocketbook (one pre-paid envelope taped to a box of garbage at a time). I just calculated the postage through www.usps.gov and each 50lb. box will cost him approximately $40.11.

I'm not suggesting that you do this too, but hypothetically, if you were to join me in this venture, I would likewise, hypothetically, find a lot of joy in knowing that his perversion of the Word of God for profit was repaid by bankrupting his "ministry"....... hypothetically. And if you do attempt this, as I am planning to, please be sure to send me hypothetical pictures of the box of garbage you're sending him.

Junk mail

I grow weary of taking out the garbage nearly every day. At first glance, one might assume that most of it is generated by the busload of children who bear my name. That, however, is not the case. Most of the garbage I receive comes from the junk mail that arrives in our mailbox daily.

While online this morning, I came across someone's interesting solution to this problem. Click here to read more.

Please let me know if anyone tries this. I very well may.

Online store, Part 2

It seems that the Northeast, PA readers have responded quite enthusiastically to the Online Store. Drawing the biggest response (or shock) was the "Anti-Sara Garms Tee." I must admit that Sara is one of the nicest people on earth, (she even babysits my children), but she always chooses to leave negative comments on "Stump the Pastor." So I took my revenge, fashionably.

Still, I feel a little bad for creating what could be called a "negative" shirt design bearing her name. That being the case, I have added an alternative "Sara" fashion to the store, celebrating one of the sneakiest pranks ever. I won't explain the shirt, but will defer to Sara to give us all an explanation of it's meaning in the comment area (if she can do so without being negative).

Update: It appears from Sara's comment that she isn't going to explain the second shirt. That means it is fair game for anyone else to offer it's explanation.

Online store

Growing up, my family owned a grocery store, Stange's Market, in Scranton, Pennsylvania. As a child I always assumed that one day I would buy into the family business and likely start a store of my own. By the time I was in high school, I realized that wasn't the direction my life was heading.

Still, the drive to sell random items in purposeful ways has not left my system. For that reason, I am unveiling the new "Stump the Pastor - Online Store." Of course I don't have any misplaced delusion that my readers will actually buy this stuff. Rather, it gives a sense of purpose to that small place in my heart that still longs to be an entrepreneur.

Visit the Stump the Pastor - Online Store here.

Stumping Again

Having been inspired by Tommy's comment on the last post, I am opening the comment area for "Stump the Pastor" questions. Feel free to ask any question regarding the Bible or the Christian life and I will do my best to offer an answer.

Tommy, I will be replying to your question shortly.

Post 100

I have a few rules about purchasing gas, including my pledge to NEVER PURCHASE GAS HERE (see picture on the left).

I pastor a church in a community that was developed many moons ago by coal companies. If you know much about the coal region, you're probably aware that once the coal was gone, many of the communities that centered around it deteriorated. Such was the case with my community for quite some time, but pleasantly, Plymouth has been rebounding (slowly).

New businesses are being established on Main Street. Buildings are getting a much needed face lift. Community festivals are held regularly and are well attended. And in the midst of our town, toward the end of Main Street, stands this structure.

I'm sure that the people who own this gas station are hard-working and pleasant. I'm sure they love their community and enjoy being a part of it. But I would like to offer them a little advice that I believe will generate more business for them (including mine).

First of all, take the sheet with a slash through the number 24 down from your front display window. It has been posted there for several years and I think we all get the point that you hate Jeff Gordon.

Secondly, I noticed your new sign painted on the gas pump stating, "CASH ONLY. Drive-offs will be shot at." A printed sign would have been better. And maybe "shot at" could be changed to "prosecuted." (sign on pump can be viewed better by clicking on picture above)

Other than that, I would like to congratulate the owners on changing their philosophy on gas prices. For years they were the most expensive gas station around. BUT, for the past two days, they have been the least expensive. Is this price reduction aimed at gaining the business of picky people such as myself? I'm curious to know.

Note: Both pictures were taken as I was driving through town. I wanted to stop and get a better picture, but I was afraid I would be shot at.

Post 99

Changes in the brain may explain teenage troubles
By Patricia Reaney 2 hours, 38 minutes ago

DUBLIN (Reuters) - Teenage angst and clashes with authority may be caused by changes in youngsters' brains during puberty, but luckily for harassed parents the problems pass.

The ability of boys and girls to decode social cues and recognize emotions, particularly anger and sadness, dips between the ages of 12 and 14, researchers at University College London and the Institute of Child Health have discovered.

"It would appear that this is a function of the development of their brain at that time," Professor David Skuse, of the group's behavioral science unit, told a conference on Thursday. "It is a real biologically based phenomenon from which, fortunately, they recover," he added.

So rather than rebellious teenagers being deliberately obstinate or difficult, their brains may be unable to detect subtle signs from parents, teachers and other adults or to decode them correctly.

The same brain circuits involved in recognizing facial expression are also associated with processing tone of voice, according to Skuse.

"The ability to interpret your irritated tone of voice, the ability to interpret your angry facial expression may well deteriorate during that period of early adolescence," he added. But the problem seems to disappear by the age of 16 or 17.

Post 98

I must admit, in the countdown to my 100th post, Post #98 takes things to a whole new level.

At my request, Senor Ryan Consbruck submitted these pictures to "Stump the Pastor." In an era of video game decadence, Ryan has illustrated for us all that game controllers are more than just implements of entertainment. In this new age of practicality, Ryan has discovered that they meet their chief end by keeping our drawers from sagging.

Post 97

It's the countdown to my 100th post on "Stump the Pastor." For Post #97, I would like to take a moment to introduce to you a man who illustrates the precise reason American citizens are forbidden by the Constitution to obtain titles of nobility.

To the left is HIS MAJESTY KING GYANENDRA BIR BIKRAM SHAH DEV. You may read his biography here.

It's hard to imagine that a man who doesn't blush while wearing that effeminate crown is asked to speak with authority on any subject. According to his biography, his motto is "Knowledge is power, work is worship.”

Because I think that motto is LAME, I would like to suggest a few that seem more fitting for HIS MAJESTY.

1. "Scepter is giant carrot, robe is bedspread."

2. "I am the Shah of tacky decor. What have you done since high school?"

3. "This throne doubles as a coffin. There's no way I'm leaving it when I kick."

4. "I am smiling."

5. "Congratulations to Pastor John on 97 hilarious posts."

24/7 Llama

The Llama Song

Iced Coffee

I don't have much to say today, other than I have spent two wonderful days this week enjoying large portions of iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts.

When the Fall season begins, I crave coffee constantly (after spending a hot summer avoiding it). But it's not quite Fall yet and the weather continues to be relatively warm. What is the compromise solution to my craving? Iced coffee.

My recommendation is that you don't ruin it with flavor syrups. Just order it regular, with cream and sugar. Then sip and enjoy.