Best place to get a kid

Usually when we go out, we try to choose a restaurant with a ball pit. You'd be surprised at all the free stuff you'll find in one. All you do is reach down in the pit until you can feel the bottom and you're guaranteed to find a handful of change, several socks, glasses, retainers and if you're really fortunate, a lost child.

This is the most recent child we found. His name is Daniel. Most people think he was naturally born to Andrea and I, but that's just a myth.

He's a great kid, but if I knew what kind of appetite he had, I'm not sure I would have taken him home with us. He never stops eating. I imagine that's why his previous owners left him in the pit to begin with.

The wait is over...

Well, I didn't realize when I posted the previous post (before going to bed late last night), that I would be beseiged by phone calls today. Several people were hoping I was going to say Andrea and I were having another baby. Some people guessed that Andrea's sister Mandie had her twins. One person thought I had some special announcement to make about my car.

The "big news" is that I am now holding in my hand a First Edition copy of my new book, "Words that Sting." I started this book almost two years ago, but because of many big and time consuming life events, it has taken me until just recently to finish it. I was told on Friday that the publisher would be sending me copies of it today, so of course I have been excited about that.

The book isn't terribly large (122 pages), but I hope it becomes a useful tool in the libraries of many people. As you can see by the cover, it's all about how to deal with criticism in a Christ-like fashion. My big hope is that this book will find its way into the libraries of many pastors and others who know what life is like when you're in full time ministry.

Thanks to everyone who showed intrest in the topic while I was writing it. It has been encouraging to know that you were excited about reading the book when it was done. I will be posting more info. about where to get a copy of the book in the coming days.

Announcement.....

Expect a big announcement later today......... (big for me, anyway).

Meals in review, Part 4

I don't know who I have to thank for it, but for the past few days I have been hampered by some sort of stomach virus. On Tuesday evening, during the middle of Prayer Meeting, I had to excuse myself while I "tossed my cookies." It was quite unexpected, but definitely added a new element that I have felt was missing from our mid-week service.

Since then, the only thing I have been able to keep in my system is water ice. I have had two large Watermelon Gelati's from Josie's. Solid food and I have not been on good terms for a few days.

But today I found the cure to my stomach virus. After bringing communion to one of our home-bound church members, I stopped by McDonald's and ate two cheeseburgers. I'm cured! Apparently, my stomach virus has been eradicated. I thought it was strange that the cheeseburgers worked so quickly, until I took a quick look at the list of ingredients on McDonald's corporate website. I simply was not aware that McDonald's cheeseburgers are 47% Pepto and the cheese is made from genuine Milk of Magnesia cultures.

Germ-free convenience

On this website as of late, I have done some complaining about at least one way that I feel our society is deteriorating. So you don't feel that all news is negative, I would like to opine on a trend that proves that our society may also be showing signs of improvement.

I am one of those people who is leery of public restrooms. Not that I won't use them, but if given the choice between waiting an extra hour to use the facilities at home or making use of Burger King's latrine, I'll choose home.

Most restrooms, at least from a guy's perspective, are dirty, smelly and germ-laden. I find that I don't want to touch anything in there. I use my shoe to flush. I use paper towel to open the door before throwing the towel away. You know the routine (or do you?).

The latest trend in upscale restrooms is to make just about everything "touch free." Using a sensor, the toilet flushes automatically. As I walk to the sink, warm water begins to flow. Soap is dispensed as I wave my hand under it. Paper towels are unrolled as I place my hand in front of the red-light. This is heavenly for those of us who love sanitation.

One last improvement would be to make certain that the exit door was either hinged to be pushed on the way out or was also on a sensor that would cause it to open automatically.

Once that final update is made, I'm certain that my desire to wait to use the facilities at home will be flushed.

Polling update

A few days ago, ABC News released a poll that suggested that 70% of Americans were in favor of letting Terri Schindler Schiavo starve and die. I'm still optimistic enough not to believe numbers like that. Today, the truth behind their distorted numbers was released in a column by Michelle Malkin.

You can read about the nature of that poll here

Culture of death

Speaking of the Terry Schindler Schiavo situation................

"We ought to err on the side of life in a case like this," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. Asked about a bill that would cover a single person, he said, "I think most people recognize that this case involves some extraordinary circumstances."

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, R-Texas, said the federal district court in Florida, which is open 24 hours a day, had already been informed that a petition would be filed as soon as the president signs the measure - with the presumption a judge will order that the tube be replaced. Time is not on Terri Schiavo's side," DeLay said. "The few remaining objecting House Democrats have so far cost Mrs. Schiavo two meals already today."

Even though the legislation would pave an avenue for federal jurisdiction in the legal case, there was no way to determine in advance how or when a judge would rule - or even which judge would be assigned the case by lottery.

Lawmakers who left Washington on Friday for the two-week Easter recess had to make abrupt changes in plans, backtracking for a dramatic and politically contentious vote. In a special session Sunday afternoon, Democrats refused to allow the bill to be passed without a roll call vote.

This is a brief except from a news brief I just read. I get frustrated with stuff like this because I feel it is very transparent. This will sound terribly partisan (but that's OK, because I am terribly partisan......with good cause), but the Democratic party promotes a culture of death and it disturbs me greatly. I agree that no political party is perfect, nor can political parties provide the salvation our culture needs. Still, the Democratic party promotes an agenda that is destructive to the values I consider important. This is just another example of the "culture of death" they are seeking to promote. Assisted suicide, abortion, unfettered sexuality, homosexuality and the like.

Maybe I'm simpleminded, but I can't understand how anyone can feel good about denying someone nutrition and forcibly starving them to death.

For a better understanding of the issues related to this woman's life and condition, you can visit her family's website at: http://www.terrisfight.org/ . If you do check it out, be sure to play the videos.

Meals in review, Part 3

Last evening, we took my soon-to-be 3 year-old, Jay out to Chuck E. Cheese's to celebrate his birthday. I think I have just as much fun at that place as he does.

I'll be straight forward and tell you that their pizza isn't bad, as long as you eat it right away. If it sits for more than ten minutes, it's garbage.

My Mom brought some coupons that she found somewhere that gave us hundreds of tokens with our food purchase. So we spent all evening playing every game under the sun and earning literally over a thousand tickets for the kids to redeem on junk, I mean prizes.

The best part was the fact that since it was a Thursday night, the place cleared out immediately after the normal dinner hour. At one point, our family was the only group of people there. I also discovered, after treating my Dad to some pinball, that he's just as much of an addict as I am.

I feel like there is more I should say about the evening, but at present, I am tapped for commentary. So many cool things happened at Chuck E. Cheese's that I'll never bother to tell you. I'm too tired to continue typing, so I'll let the creative readers finish this entry for me in the "comment" area.

Let me get you started with a scenario: "Last night, I was on my fifth game of ski-ball in a row when all of a sudden........."

Meals in review, Part 2

Well, as I mentioned yesterday, I had the opportunity to eat at two of my favorite chain restaurants on the same day. Lunch was spent at Olive Garden, and although I thought dinner would be at TGI Friday's, my family requested Applebee's instead.

At the Olive Garden, I ordered the Chicken Parmesan. I specified "alfredo sauce" as opposed to the normal red sauce (pictured in the stock photo above). When my food arrived, I was happy to see that my request had been honored. However, my change in menu came at a cost. They clearly gave me less pasta than they normally serve. Did they think I wouldn't notice? Did I look like an Olive Garden "newbie" to them? Instead of getting upset, I made sure that they made as little profit as possible from my meal by ordering several re-fills on the salad.

At Applebee's, I ordered my standard "Smothered Grilled Chicken" and I subbed the onion peels for the vegetable medley. I must have ordered it with such gusto and confidence that I inspired my family to consider it as an option as well. When my Father ordered his food, he chose the same exact thing (including the onion peels). My respect and admiration for my Father was never higher than it was at that moment. I am a proud son.

I'm pretty sure we have the most "upscale" Applebee's around. Last night they featured live music. It was excellent.

Only one problem though. The waiter (Rich C.) accidentally mixed up my receipt and my Father's receipt (it's our Wednesday night tradition to get separate receipts so my Father doesn't feel like he needs to treat everyone). In the end, my Dad's tip and my tip were both charged to my card.

Tonight, I have the rare privilege of going out to eat yet again. This evening's dining establishment will be the renowned Chuck E. Cheese's. We're celebrating my son Jay's third birthday. Stop back tomorrow for "Meals in review, Part 3."

Meals in review, Part 1

From time to time I have the opportunity to go out to one of my favorite chain restaurants and order some of their yummy food. Food has been on my mind a lot lately, now that I'm trying to eat less of it.

The two chain restaurants that are currently on my "top tier" are Applebee's and TGI Friday's. My "second tier" currently includes Ruby Tuesday's and the Olive Garden.

Tomorrow, I will have the rare opportunity to eat at two of my favorite places on the same day. In the afternoon, I will be getting together with several local pastors at the Olive Garden. I'm not sure what I'm getting, but I can just about guarantee it will be covered in Alfredo sauce. Later tomorrow, I'm getting together with my family to eat at Fridays (most likely).

On Sunday's my family usually dines together at Applebee's where I order the same thing every week.....Smothered Grilled Chicken, Garlic mashed potatoes and a side of onion peels (as a sub for the vegetable medley). Of all the restaurant meals that I commonly enjoy, this one takes the cake (or the deep fried apple chimi-cheescake, depending on your perspective).

I love the taste of the marinated chicken. The cheese, peppers, onions and mushrooms are melted so nicely on top. The mashed potatoes are made from red potatoes and the skins are left on for the mashing process. The onion peels (see picture above) are the best fried substance on earth (and I love the horseradish sauce they give for dipping).

I wanted to include a picture of the Smothered Grilled Chicken, but when I did a search for it, I only found a picture of some guy holding a pillowcase over a bird's head until it stopped moving (kidding). That is how that make that dish, isn't it?

Tune in tomorrow and I will fill you in on the details of the dishes I chose at both meal stops.

Polly Pockets

A few hours ago, after working for a while on refinancing my house and searching real estate listings for investment properties, I decided that I had been in front of my computer for way too long and I would much rather play with my kids. Here's how it went.

Daniel is our youngest. He's just a year old and he's easy to make giggle. I was making him laugh for a while, as I sat on the recliner in the living room. Andrea brought me some coffee and cookies to snack on (I should have resisted, but I didn't). From that point on, Daniel cried hysterically and begged me to share the cookies with him. I gave him some, but he wasn't satisfied. I actually got quite annoyed with him because he wouldn't pipe down. End result: Andrea scooped him up and put him to bed.

Jay is our middle child. He will be 3 next week. Jay loves to wrestle, so we did that for a while. He gets wound up rather quickly and began slapping my legs until it stung. I thought it was funny, so I let him keep doing it. Once the skin on my legs became completely dulled, I decided it would be fun to knock him down as he lunged at me. He ran and I pushed him to the carpet. He thought that was funny so we did it a few more times. On the seventh try, he bumped his back on a piece of furniture. End result: I worked hard to make him laugh so he wouldn't cry. Then Andrea scooped him up and gave him a bath.

Hannah is our oldest. She'll be starting kindergarten in September. She invited me to play "Polly Pockets" with her while Jay was getting a bath. In case you aren't familiar with this toy, I'll clue you in. Basically, you try to dress tiny little dolls with very small rubbery dresses, gloves, shoes, purses, etc. It's a pain. I have no clue why she likes this so much. I tried to dress the Snow White doll with some of the accessories, but it was torture, so I gave up. Hannah tried and ended up pulling Snow White's head off. At that point she said, "Her head comes off easily. That just happens sometimes." By this point, Jay had finished his bath and wanted to see what we were doing. He stood in horror as I tried to re-attach Snow White's head. Thankfully, her head snapped back into place after a few very awkward tries. End result: I left Hannah's room to return to this computer and I have renewed my childhood vow never to play with dolls again.

A new way to comment

Just wanted you to know about something Blogger has finally done to make the commenting process easier. For a while, if you wanted to leave a comment on this blog and you weren't a member of the "Blogger Community," you needed to sign in as "Anonymous." That's dumb. Thankfully, they read my mind and changed it.

Now when you're commenting just click "Other" and you can type your name in however you would like it to appear. That's a big improvement.

I should say one other thing while I'm on the subject. I'm very curious to know who reads this blog. I check the stats from time to time and the numbers of "page views" are getting pretty high. If you happen to read this blog, I'd love to know who you are. Leave a comment after this post and try the new "Other" option. You'll be left with the same kind of elated feeling you get after you eat your first gelati of the Spring season. (Note: Both Josie's and Rita's are opening this week. I like watermelon with vanilla custard. Just leave a medium on my doorstep if I'm not home).

Addams Family pinball

I was reminded today of why I need $3,000 ASAP. If you have an extra three grand, you need to get it to me as quickly as you possibly can. Why? Because I'll never own my own Addams Family pinball machine if you don't.

There are many good pinball machines, but the Addams Family is by far the best. The ramps are smooth. The options are creative. The theme is consistent, challenging and funny. The blinking lights can trigger an epileptic seizure. Need I say more?

I had to drive to Hazleton earlier and while I was there, I visited the Laurel Mall. Walking by the arcade, I looked to see if they had any pinball. I was thrilled to find a very well maintained (with the exception of the intermittent left flipper) Addams Family machine.

I played several games and enjoyed them all (even though I failed to get a Multiball). I did score high enough to earn one free game, which was a plus.

When I was in college, they had one of these machines on campus and I would play it constantly. Andrea's mother once gave me a 35mm film case full of quarters so I could do laundry. She was irritated to discover that I spent most of them on the Addams Family.

I have several goals in my life that I still would like to reach. One of them is to own one of these games. Now that I have made you aware of this passion, could you muster enough sympathy to give me the $3,000 I politely requested earlier in this post?

Is that a yes? Hello?

Total Gym

About two years ago, I bought a Total Gym (I pretty much buy anything that Chuck Norris endorses). Anyway, as we all should know, buying exercise equipment doesn't make you fit, using it does.

Yesterday I did 85 reps to strengthen my tricept, bicept and pectoral muscles. I know what you're thinking right now. "Why bother? You're stronger than any human we know." And frankly, I agree with your thought. The problem is that my big muscles are being hidden by layers of deep-fried, mozzarella laden, fat and I wouldn't mind burning off a few of those layers.

This evening, I am going to work off this morning's Western Omelet (mmmmm, ham) by setting up the device for sit-ups and crunches (mmmmm, crunchy). I'm pretty sure that by tomorrow I'll have abs just like the picture on the box.

Thanks Chuck.

Lost frog

Bulletin: Terry's frog is lost. Spring weather is nearly here. Be on the lookout.

http://www.lostfrog.org

In search of argyle

As I continue to age, I have noticed two distinct things gaining importance in my life; comfort and plaid. Both of these mature interests are joined together in eternally perfect harmony in argyle socks.

For the longest time, I owned just one pair of argyle socks. Shamefully they sat, still packaged, in a dresser drawer for a very long time. That changed about a year ago when Andrea must have been at the end of the laundry cycle. All my regular socks were being laundered so, reluctantly, I unpackaged the argyle's and wore them for the day. To my surprise, they were the most comfortable socks I had ever worn. Additionally, as a surprise benefit, they also confirmed to the skeptics that I really do have at least one ounce of Scottish blood in my system.

Over time, I noticed that my lone pair of argyle's went from being the last pick to my first choice. Several weeks ago I thought, "I should get some more of these!" And the search was on.

I drove to Wal-Mart......nothing. The suit store.......zip. Old Navy........nada. Pizza Hut........mmmm, pizza (but no argyle). Surprised and discouraged, I essentially gave up my search.

Thankfully, that's not where the story ends. During our Sunday evening Youth Group, I posed the question to our teens. Because teens have clearly established that they know everything, I surmised that of course they would have the answer. Guess what.....they knew. Maranda suggested several stores I could try and gave me examples of specific people that bought argyle socks there (how did she know that?). Sara even confirmed Maranda's suggestion (very interesting). Danny even went so far as to call me exactly one week later from the Wyoming Valley Mall as he stood in front of several different styles available in the shoe department in the Bon Ton (he even offered to buy me a few pair and I could re-imburse him later).

So, with the help of my faithful Youth Group (capitalized out of respect), I am now the proud owner of several new pairs of argyle socks. Hats off (or should I say "socks off") to the teens who made it all happen. Well done.

The saga of weight

Most of my family member's acknowledge that our family tends to put on weight rather easily. We're a "low metabolism" kind of bunch.

During my early years of college, I noticed that I was starting to form a little belly (something that I had long vowed I would not do). Halfway through my freshman year, I started jogging regularly, watched what I ate, and forbid myself to eat anything after 9:00pm. Very quickly, the weight came off and I maintained a healthy weight (for my height) for several years.

During my senior year of college, several months before I began my first full-time pastorate, I decided that I should put on a little weight. I thought that being skinny made me look too young and I wanted to appear older than I was. Before my senior year was through, I had gained much of the weight back.

Shortly after graduation, I got married. Both my wife and I worked, so all of a sudden we had disposable income that was largely spent on fattening dinners at restaurants. Before my first year of ministry was complete, I weighed more than I ever had.

Over the years, I have continued to put on weight and I watched as the first number on the scale went from a "1" to a "2." My doctor has been on my case for a while to lose some of the extra pounds and I have been getting sick of growing needlessly plump.

So, back in January, I decided to lose the weight. I started by jogging, but not watching what I was eating. Then I got the flu which kick-started the change in diet (since I had lost my appetite). Now I have combined both jogging and a better diet. To date, I have lost 14 lbs. I would like to lose a total of 40 lbs, which leaves me just 26 more pounds to go.

As added motivation, two other staff members from PMBC are competing with me to see who can lose 20 lbs. first, and then keep it off for at least 2 weeks. The winner gets a $50 Barnes & Noble gift card.

Cheer me on, I'm almost there.

Tune in tomorrow for a piece I have titled "In search of argyle."

Not a good idea

Well, I promised you two days ago that I would pass on the details of an event, involving a dead squirrel, that occurred during my days as a student at Philadelphia College of Bible (now Philadelphia Biblical University). After two full days of fighting with the New Jersey Animal Rights Foundation, here's the full story.

Each year, during the Fall semester, a mini-carnival was held on campus in celebration of Homecoming. Jeremy, one of my roommates, won several goldfish at one of the stands. But as with all carnival goldfish, they lived for exactly 20 minutes after he acquired them. He could have thrown them away, but he chose to stuff them in my campus mailbox instead. A nice little surprise for me when I went to retrieve my mail.

Later that day, I was driving my 1988 Ford Festiva (I loved that car) with my soon-to-be wife, Andrea (I loved that soon-to-be wife). A squirrel jumped out in front of the car. Thankfully I stopped in time to miss hitting it. Moments later, once the car had already regained momentum, another squirrel jumped out in pursuit of the first squirrel. I tried to miss it, but sadly, it was flattened. Andrea covered her eyes as I respectfully pulled over, exited the vehicle, and pushed the squirrel carcass to the side of the road with a stick.

A few hours later, it dawned on me that the squirrel might have a little life in it yet. With the help of my other roommate, Paul, we returned to the side of the road where the dead squirrel lay stiff. Paul and I took a couple clear garbage bags and placed the squirrel inside. We then returned to the campus mailbox area and stuffed the squirrel in Jeremy's mailbox.

Jeremy found the squirrel the next day and someone reported the incident to the school administration. No one, other than us, knew who had done it, but it had become such a huge issue on campus (resulting in restricted mailbox use for the student body) that Paul and I decided to confess our deed to the President of the college.

He admitted that he thought it was funny, but stressed that we had broken the law because the squirrel didn't have a stamp on it (I'm not kidding). His recommendation was that next time, we mail the animal properly or simply place it under our friend's pillow. Since then, I have been trying to figure out how to mail a dead animal properly. Once I can figure that out, I'll be sending Jeremy another surprise.