While you were sleeping.......

I am very alarm paranoid. Let me explain. I have this great fear that I am going to one day over-sleep on a Sunday morning and not show up for church. I know that's somewhat ridiculous being that church begins around 10:00am, but I still take precautions. Every Saturday night, I make certain that 3 alarms are poised to wake me up the next morning. My alarm clock, Andrea's alarm clock, plus the alarm on my cell phone (just in case the power goes out during the night).

Every Saturday night, before my head hits the pillow, I ask my wife Andrea if she set her alarm. She always answers "Yes." Then I ask her what time she set it for and she always tells me "7:00." This is our standard routine, carried out almost flawlessly for many years.

Saturday night, very late into the evening, after a long weekend of reunions and retreats at the Pocono Mountain Bible Conference, I asked my sleeping wife the standard Saturday night questions.

Me: "Did you set your alarm?"
Her: "Yes"
Me: "What time did you set it for" ......................

This is where things turned odd

Her: "6:00"
Me: "6:00? Why 6:00?"
Her: "6:30 is what I wanted, but the trays were on for the candles, for the fires and the leftovers."
Me: "What? Ha, ha, ha."

At that point, I immediately sprung to my desk where I grabbed a post-it note so I could write her comments down before I forgot a word of it. I love when she says ridiculous things in her sleep. When Andrea realized what I was doing, she yelled, "Knock it off." But it was too late. The words were already inscribed on paper. Strangely satisfied, I returned to bed and chuckled myself to sleep.

Fast forward to Sunday. Andrea confessed over lunch that she had stolen my post-it note. I couldn't believe it. I had been robbed by my own wife. Thankfully, she relented and told me where she hid it. But just in case she is tempted to steal it again, I'm posting it's contents here where they're safe. Please don't tell her. He, he, he.