Breaking News.... Pope John Paul II

Breaking News: (Must Credit "Stump the Pastor" if reprinted)

Noticing the significant recent weight gain of Pope John Paul II, rumors have been abundant as to the actual cause of his obescity.

Ending Speculation, the Pope illustrated the real problem during his Sunday homily from his residence in Vatican City. During the second point of his message, the Pope's stomach began grumbling. The grumbling grew so loud that his lapel/crucifix mic began picking up the sound. After several minutes of trying to ignore the obvious distraction, Pope John Paul II snatched a single white dove out of the air as it passed by his window. To the astonishment of the gathered multitude, he then proceeded to pluck and eat the dove while delivering the remainder of his homily.

Later that day, when asked about the incident, the Pope commented, "I have low blood sugar and white doves are soooo sweet."