Ode to Crushed Ice

For Christmas, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I bought my wife new appliances for the kitchen. I would have to say that one of the greatest benefits to this purchase is our new refrigerator. I made sure to buy a style with a built in icemaker. Now with every beverage (excluding milk and coffee) I enjoy some crushed ice in my drink. In fact, even as I sit here and type, I'm sipping on some Pepsi filled with the glorious little chunks of frozen joy.

In the spirit of enjoying this beverage supplement, I have taken a moment to compose a poem that illustrates my new-found affection for crushed ice.

Floating in my cup so still
Such frozen joy that brings a chill
I smile as I ingest a sip
Then crunch you as my teeth I chip

You make my beverage come alive
You cause my tastebuds to revive
How have I gone without you thus
But now you're here, I raise no fuss

Content I drink my juice or tea
Then give you this soliloquy
Content I drink my soda too
Without your aid what would I do?

I'd dutifully sit back and whine
Complain that Pepsi has no spine
Alas that nightmare is not hence
Crushed ice is here, and life makes sense

10 Ways.......

I was just reading a friend's blog at (The M-59 Corridor) and I found this. I just had to jip it and post it here. Toooo funny.

10 Ways to Respond to a Gift you Don't Like

10. Hey! There's a gift!

9. Well, well, well...

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Wow. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are a lot of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4. I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

1. I really don't deserve this.

You need to hear it once more.....

Merry Christmas!

It's 1:27am, approximately 8 hours before we will open our gifts. I decided to do something creative this year. I get tired of giving gifts that are little more than a waste of money. So this year, I'm giving "acts of service." I think this is going to be my yearly tradition from this point on.

For my Father, I'm giving "one free car detailing." He'll love that. My Mother is getting "an afternoon of free lawn care." Trust me, it's needed. I gave my brother-in-law "a day of free labor" on his new house, including the use of my pick-up. I'm taking my grandfather golfing. My grandmother's are each getting "a day." They can use that day for projects, errands or simply a date at the movies. You get the idea.

For the past few years I have found myself increasingly bothered by the notion that "a good Christmas" comes with a price tag. Granted that I did just buy my wife all new kitchen appliances (with a $2,200 price tag), but that's beside the point. I was getting a little grinchy at the idea of wasting money yet again just so I could get everyone some garbage to unwrap. I actually prayed that the Lord would show me how I could enjoy Christmas again because I had gotten to the point of counting the days until it was over.

Then He reminded me that His coming to this earth, enduring an often unappreciated human life, bearing our sin on the cross and rising from death, were all acts of service. That's what I want to spend my time thinking about for the next 22 hours. Christ. And what better a reminder of His acts of service than performing such deeds, in His Spirit, for the benefit of others.

So, my prayer has been answered. I can honestly say I'm actually looking forward to sitting around the tree this morning. Christmas is here. Go serve somebody in Jesus' name.

Strong Coffee

During the next few weeks, I will have the opportunity to share meals with many different family members. I look forward to that. My family has a great knack for teasing each other, to the point that it becomes ridiculous and a bit painful (the good kind of pain).

Every year, we like to tease "Grammie" that she makes extremely strong coffee. My Dad affectionately refers to her brew as "mud." The funny thing is that as time moves on, I have come to crave strong coffee. In essence, I'm becoming my grandmother.

I used to dilute my coffee with a gallon of half & half and 36 packets of sugar. Now, I like my coffee to have more of a punch. And to that punch, I add one and a half teaspoons of sugar and a quick spill of cream.

I know where this is leading. I'm two-steps from morphing into a coffee snob. Soon my metamorphosis will be complete.

Everybody's working for the weekend

Busy weekend up ahead. Normal people have busy weeks. Pastors have busy evenings and weekends. This is going to be one of them. Funeral, retreat, worship services, Sunday School program and Youth Group. I long for Tuesday. It may be several days before you hear from me again, but rest assured, I live.

The U2 Theory

Here's everything you always wanted to know about U2's role in my life. It's funny, because in many ways, I have felt like they have always been there. It's hard to remember a time without them. Sure we've had our ups and downs (ie, Lemon), but time moves on.

In 1987 as a camper at the Pocono Mountain Bible Conference, my counselor, Jeff Vroman, played the album "The Joshua Tree" repeatedly. He loved it and even commented, "I don't think I'll ever stop listening to this album." I would love to know if he kept that pledge. After camp was over, before I even returned home, I asked my mother to stop at the mall so I could look for that album. When I found it, I bought it and I haven't stopped listening to it.

Several years later, I ordered "Rattle & Hum" from BMG's tape club. That same year, I was watching MTV and they played the live video for "Sunday Bloody Sunday" from the album, "Live Under a Blood Red Sky." As soon as I found that tape, I bought it. Then I made the mistake of lending it to a guy at camp during a winter retreat. Thankfully, he remembered to give it back to me the following Summer.

The next year, while at a different mall, I found "Boy" on cassette so I bought it. It wasn't what I expected and I never really listened to it much, but I'm still glad it's part of my collection, even though I bought it out of sequence.

In 9th grade, I wanted to be one of the first kids with a CD player, so my Dad bought me one for Christmas. In anticipation of that gift, I joined Columbia House and ordered every U2 album that I didn't already own on CD. I timed it so the CD's would arrive right at Christmastime and I would have something to be able to play on my new CD player.

The following year, U2 released "Auchtung Baby." At first, I was very hesitant to buy it because I was afraid that they had completely abandoned their earlier sound (along with what I believed was their philosophy as a band). Finally, I broke down and bought the CD. I loved it then and love it now, especially song 10, "Ultraviolet."

Then came the dark years. The mid-1990's were a strange time in my relationship with U2. I do not own any of their albums from this period and doubt that I ever will. I couldn't justify buying them just to complete a collection, when I knew I'd never listen to them. I started to feel like they were cousins that I was a little embarrassed to admit that I was related to. Odd images of U2 flood my mind when I recall that period. I can see The Edge having his face smushed in the video for "Numb." I can remember Bono belting out the title track to a lame Batman movie. I can picture the whole band walking toward the video camera dressed like the Village People. "Stop this!" I begged them. And....... they heard.

I knew something was happening when I first saw the cover for "All That You Can't Leave Behind." It was simple and understated. Just a black & white picture of the band. Very reminiscent of their chosen color scheme during the Joshua Tree period. Something said to me, "You need to buy this CD." Without having heard any of their new songs, I took the chance and welcomed U2 back to the family of my current music rotation. I made the right decision. What an excellent album.

Just this week, I purchased U2's new album from amazon.com. I think I knew what I was getting into before I bought it, but I took a chance on "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb." All in all, it is a fine album, but so far it doesn't strike me as something that I'll be listening to 20 years from now. I need to give it more time though before I form my definitive option. So far, it sounds like a collection of the B-Sides from "All That You Can't Leave Behind." Or maybe the leftovers that didn't quite make the cut for that album.

In a nutshell, if you're new to U2, here's all you need to know. They have created 3 masterpieces that you should own: (The Joshua Tree, Auchtung Baby and All That You Can't Leave Behind). A smattering of good songs can be found on their other albums, but those 3 albums are the "essential U2."

The Book is Coming

In mid 2003, I began the lengthy process of writing my first book. I honestly thought the project would be completed by about June 2003. That didn't happen, and then soon after that, I took on more responsibility than ever with both my church and PMBC. That being the case, the book stayed on the back-burner for quite some time.

I am happy to say that I have now resumed the book writing process. When it's complete, it should be around 100 pages. The topic is "How to deal with criticism like Jesus." It should be a fun and rather easy read for those willing to pick it up and work their way through it's pages. I'll let you know when the project finally culminates. Give me a few more weeks before you get on my case.

So, who's interested in buying it? I'm hoping it drums up interest from more people than just my wife and parents. They're "sympathy shoppers" and would buy it even if it was a 12 page treatise on the similarities between ear hair and belly button lint. Still, I think we all need a few unwavering supporters like that.

My Date with Hannah

Today I took Hannah, my 4 year old daughter, on a long-promised date. Just the two of us. We had a wonderful time. I promised her that I would take her to see the Polar Express. We went to the 12:25 showing at the Cinemark and we were the only ones there. We had the entire theatre to ourselves. Half way through the movie, Hannah turned to me and said, "I'm glad I came with you today, Daddy." It was sweet.

Afterward, I took her to Johnny Rocket's where we shared some fries and a strawberry shake. A big strawberry kept getting caught in my straw so I told Hannah, "You know, in every strawberry milkshake they put a big strawberry and I just found it. Would you like to eat it?" Of course she said yes. Then she said, "Daddy, I think there's another strawberry in there." I didn't know if there was or not, so I swirled my straw around and there it was, a second big strawberry. I said, "Guess what Hannah, you were right. There is a second strawberry. Would you like it?" She said, "Yaaaaa" and her eyes lit up. I made sure to put some extra whip cream on that strawberry.

What a wonderful way to spend the afternoon.

Special note to the man who may one day ask to marry my daughter: If you're smart you'll take Hannah on many afternoon dates and constantly enjoy her delightful presence. If I find out that you aren't fulfilling this task (including giving her every strawberry from every shake you ever get), I promise you'll be missing a few teeth. Consider this fair warning.

The Holy Mall

Today I'm starting a new segment on Stump the Pastor. Here is the first item for sale in the Holy Mall.

What goes through your mind when you see this stuff? I once heard someone say that Christians will buy anything as long as you put the words Jesus, God or Lord on it. I'm starting to wonder if that's true. Please explain to me the purpose of buying burlap bags with the Lord's name screenprinted on them? Is it so you can have a better witness when you're playing games at your family reunion this year? What would you say to cousin Jerry as you're hopping by? "Your plain sack is clearly burlap for Beelzebub, but I'm leaping for the Lord!"

Do you like being scared?

I don't know why, but sometimes it's fun to be scared. While surfing the net, I came across the most ridiculous (and depressing) website. If you like to be freaked out, click this link. When you see the image, click on the buttons under the face. Then sit back and watch.

http://www.nobodyhere.com/justme/present.here

Arnold gets it

I don't know how you feel about this time of the year, but let me mention a few things that frequently come to my mind in December. Then I'll explain why I'm posting this picture of Arnold.

I remember reading a book when I was in elementary school that made mention of the fact that there could come a day when the world would celebrate a "Christ-less Christmas" where very little mention of Jesus would be made during that time of year. I remember thinking that was impossible, especially since the word "Christ" is present in the word "Christmas." I wonderdered how anyone could suspend logic long enough to miss that fact.

Fast forward a couple decades and here we are....essentially celebrating a Christ-less Christmas. We have come to the point where it seems odd to say the word Christmas or to put it in print. Every mention of this time of year refers to it as the "holiday season." We all say "happy holidays" and send "holiday cards." Major department stores release their "holiday catalogues." Unbelievable.

The worst is the new term "holiday tree." Give me a break. You mean to tell me that we're going to start decorating our "holiday trees" with our "holiday ornaments" as we celebrate the new reason for the season, ..... ambiguity?

Well, in California, just last evening, we saw a bright spot in this year's "holiday season." The previous governor of California, Grey Davis, re-named the tree in front of the Capitol the "holiday tree," but California's new Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, changed it back to "Christmas tree." Thank God! We have been spared the torment of meaningless adjectives for one more year.

So in the spirit of remembering what we celebrate this month, Merry Christmas!

Early Influences

When I was in Second and Third Grades, this was my hero. Dee Snyder from the band Twisted Sister. I still see him on TV from time to time. The very first album that I owned was Twisted Sister's "Stay Hungry." My mom bought it for me for my birthday.

Parents, I have have one word of advice for you. If you want your children to grow up to serve in the ministry, buy them that album.

Live in Christ

I recently asked a group of adults in my church, "What does it mean to 'live in Christ''?

It is my struggle and my joy, each and every day to live in Christ. I know that He is the only source of true joy, yet I frequently abdicate that knowledge and follow my own "wisdom." But if I truly live in Christ, I bring Him glory and experience great satisfaction.

As I see it, to live in Christ is to submit to Him. I need to place Him first in all aspects of my life and live in the joy of knowing that I am fulfilling the purpose for which I have been created.

So let me ask you, "What does it mean to live in Christ?" I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Credentials

According to what I'm hearing, the United Methodist Church convicted Elizabeth Stroud, a lesbian "pastor" in the Philly area, of violating church law for living with a lesbian partner and it seems likely that she will lose her credentials as a pastor.

I'm amazed that this is even a debated subject. Of course she should be removed from her pulpit. Frankly, I don't believe she should have occupied that pulpit to begin with, but that's another issue.

This whole debate comes back to one thing....our view of the Scripture. When churches deviate from accepting the Bible as God's inspired Word - the rule for our faith and practice, ...issues like this arise.

I'm sure that Elizabeth Stroud is a fine person. In fact, I just read the entire text of her "coming out" sermon and she seems, from her writing, to be rather pleasant. The mistake so many are making is that instead of embracing Elizabeth, they are embracing her brazenly sinful lifestyle and treating it as a non-issue.

My greatest concern as I read her sermon related to her mention of counseling sessions or other such meetings with young people. It disturbs me greatly to think that she could be influencing impressionable teens into thinking that her manner of living is perfectly fine and should be welcomed and smiled upon.

As is the case with all sin, the culture of brazen homesexuality ultimately leads to three things; depression, disease and death. If we want to spare Elizabeth and others like her of that kind of self-destruction, we ought to avoid watering down the truth of God's Word and we must share the truth of the loving law of Christ in word and deed.